*warning — somewhat graphic content*
For the last few months, I have have been struggling to completely eradicate fornication (sexual intercourse between unmarried people) and lust from my life. I struggled last year to completely eradicate pornography. During this process I’d go for some pretty long stretches and, if capable of not self-gratifying, I’d have a sexual dream and things would be taken care of.
However, there was a slight difference between my “wet dreams” that I didn’t pay attention to. Some required the act of intercourse while others didn’t. Then I noticed that I’d have dreams with intercourse a bit more frequently and they weren’t all “wet” dreams. After talking with a friend, she said something sinister could be at play. I chalked it up to
But, lo and behold, as I’d started to pray more and seek help from Jesus, things started getting a little more uncomfortable. I started having these strange dreams where I’d meet someone I believed to be God or a good spirit but, by the end of it, I’d get this stinging sensation through my body. I was hoping it wasn’t bad but time would reveal the evil nature of these dreams.
After some time, I decided to reaffirm my faith in Jesus Christ, the One who was the only acceptable Sacrifice for our sins, and give Him my life. Through prayer, fasting
It started with a normal sex dream. But this time I resisted unlike any other time before. It was so strange, mid-dream I even said, “I don’t even know why I’m resisting”. At this point, the spirit realized seduction wasn’t working and it revealed itself to me. I realized it was a demon. The woman’s face went from gorgeous and appealing to ugly and disgusting. She, or rather it, was definitely aggressive and seemed to want to attack me. I then commenced to try and exercise the demon as if I were casting myself for the next Exorcist movie. I had no idea where that came from. Maybe the Holy Spirit was helping me. Eventually, the woman disappeared and
When I woke up I was in one of the most exhausted states of my life I’ve ever been. I’ve woken up from bad nightmares before but this was no nightmare. I felt that same tingling feeling I usually felt in my dream while awake! At this point, I could barely move I was thoroughly exhausted.
The next night, the demon skipped the seduction and went straight to harassment. I couldn’t sleep. The third night, yet again. However, through prayer and faith… I eventually was been able to go back to sleep. Through faith in Christ, I kept getting stronger and stronger and in a particular dream I even wanted “seek out” this entity so I can expel it from my life.
I’ve been spending a lot of time reading, researching and trying to under the events that led me to this event. I have some beliefs and ideas that may be of extreme importance to you all.
1. Hell is real.
Plain and simple, if there are demons, there is a “hell”. There are different names in the Bible for hell but for a time I questioned its existence. I definitely know now.
Update: After over a year of studying the Bible and seeking wisdom from others who study the Bible, I’ve come to learn that hell isn’t eternal and it doesn’t exactly exist yet. The Bible explains that, in the end, those who don’t accept Jesus will be thrown into a lake of fire. This will eventually burn up the “lost” after some time of torment, “each according to his works”.
2. Evil doesn’t like to reveal itself.
This comes from a friend but I started to examine my life and it makes perfect sense. All those years I struggled with pornography, I thought to myself, “I feel like this is bad”. I never did allow my conscience the space to speak, however, I realized I’ve been tempted for a while by this evil spirit but I just believed it was my own “manly” sexual needs. As I started to really work on this area of my life, the dreams soon began. Believe me, you are getting but a tiny percentage of the crazy dreams I’ve had. As I finally resisted, I got to see
3. Prayer is powerful.
But I had to realize the only way to God is through Jesus. This made a huge difference in my life.
In closing, after re-reading what I wrote here, I’ve realized that I may sound crazy to some of you. And to others, you may fear my safety. Do trust, I’m of sound mind and completely fine. However, I share this so that maybe some of you will reevaluate your life. I wish I would’ve heard or read a story like this before I got caught up in porn. Before, all I heard people tell me was, “It’s normal, all guys do it”.
So, if you’re struggling with anything in your life that you feel is wrong I suggest two things.
1. Seek out
2. Pray to Jesus Christ for forgiveness and the strength to overcome it.